His Fault
by Mon3lisa
Summary: Would you forgive him? [One sided Edricest]


Summary: Would you forgive him?

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist (c) Hiromu Arakawa

Rate: PG -15

Warnings: One sided Edricest. Crack Fic. Angst, death.

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The human being is made of three things, the mind, body, and soul. The soul is made up of feelings and emotions, the mind is a collection of memories and lessons learned in life, and the body is the container holding those two human factors. Without one of those three important human parts, the other two will be unstable, which is why they are all equal and none of them are more important than the other. Without a body, it's not an individual. Without a soul, it's not human. Without a mind, it's not capable.

The mind is the connection between the body and the soul and it controls both aspects. When the body is hungry, for example, the mind orders it to reach out, curl its fingers around an apple, bring it to its lips, open its lips, chew rhythmically and swallow it. After that, the body takes care of the food and can digest or reject it however the way it wants. Nevertheless, the mind controls the body, so the mind can be powerful enough for the body to obey it. This is possible if a sensory system is greeted with something unpleasant or delectable (be it smell, visual, imaginative, etc). The mind can be over-empowered with a feeling of rejection or want (coming from the soul) that it orders the body to stop feeding itself or to consume more. The three things work in unity, always, even for simple things as eating.

But still, the cooperation of the three requires a mind. As mentioned, the mind is a pathway between the soul and the body and without it, the body would be dissatisfied or unable to control itself. The same goes for the soul. If the soul is in need of something, the mind takes care of those feelings and has the body to do the necessary actions to satisfy the soul. For example, if the soul needs to express its sadness the mind complies. It bids the body's eyes to shed tears, and the body obeys. But there are cases when the feelings of the soul are too powerful for the mind to control, and the tears come without consent. This happens only too often, when a sense of loss is too much for the soul or when the mind has too much to bear in its container, the brain, and it cannot control the messages from the soul. When that happens, the soul's desires are immediately passed onto the body and it would be too late to do anything about it.

So would it be forgivable if someone cries when it's inappropriate? Would it be forgivable if someone lost a very close relative or friend, and took action based on their feelings for revenge? Would it be forgivable to a person who committed suicide because their minds or their souls could not bear the stress and so the mind couldn't think positively or accordingly?

Would it be forgivable if someone didn't have a mind, and everything they did was based on how they felt? What if they were in love, and having no mind did everything for their lover no matter how painful, inhuman, or wrong it was? What if they had bodily needs that they could not control, and they released those needs to someone else and hurt them?

What if it's a boy who went through pain and death and loss? A boy whose body is still growing and experiencing hormonal desires, a boy who secretly built up feelings of love and guilt and hundreds of other emotions in a small bottle in his heart, in his soul, for _years_? Would you forgive him?

Would you?

Even if he's moving speedily inside of you and making you scream in pain. Even if he doesn't respond to your tear-ridden pleas for stopping because he doesn't understand your words. Even if he's breathing hard against your neck and you _know_ that he wants to say something but he can't?

Why did he have to love you? Why did he choose to transmute your body back when he knew there wasn't enough energy to bring the both of you back to normal? Why did he think that you will be intent on keeping your side of the promise, to bring his limbs back, that he'd sacrifice himself for his limbs so that you wouldn't have to worry? Why couldn't he have known that he only needed one of his three human aspects instead of all three of them? Why didn't he see that? Why didn't you notice before? Why didn't you _realize_??

But now it's too late and there's nothing you can do about it. He made a mistake for not confessing his love and his fear and you're paying for it. You're paying the price and it's his fault. He was sinned from the start: he loved his brother, revived his mother, abandoned his friend, killed his enemy… He attempted to fix his mistakes and he failed, and it all fell on you. It's all his fault and there's no forgiving him. You couldn't have known so there should be no guilt, why are you thinking that you should forgive him? It's _his fault_. He should pay, not _you_.

So why not grab the knife? Grab it and swing it in front of you. Then thrust forward and plunge it hard into him. Hard enough that it touches his core and out of the other side of his back. Hard enough to make him bleed all over you and make you feel his warm blood wash over your chest. Hard enough to make his eyes widen in surprise and his mouth cough out blood. That mouth that told so many lies and kissed you too many times are paling and those hands that groped for your skin and broke enough promises to last a lifetime are losing their grips on your shoulders.

The golden eyes you once admired are darkening, untold number of scenes of death they witnessed slowly disappearing before your own eyes. His lips breathe out a final sigh, and fall next to your cheek. You give one last shudder before you let go of the knife and for a while lie there with crimson liquid darkening the sheets and your skeletal figure.

You realize that you can finally live in peace. You don't know how many nights you haven't slept in fear of this monster that now lay dead above your chest. But now you realize that it was too many times. You feel drowsy, both in your body and in spirit. You're exhausted, a feeling of liberation washing over you. You giggle with relief. Then you cackle in joy. Then you're laughing, laughing for the world to hear. You shout that you killed your brother, the one who's tormented you for so long, you killed him. He's dead and lying on you and bleeding beautifully. You don't notice the rough hands grabbing your arms and hauling you away. You barely take in the voices of the doctors proclaiming you as mentally insane and you wonder briefly if that makes you the same as your brother and you laugh some more.

Then suddenly, everything is white. You're bound and shaking underneath the material and it's all white. Is this heaven? No, not where his brother would be. Not him. Not him _again_! You shriek. And that's all you do. You're out of breath and you're terrified out of your mind, but you still hollor your lungs out. Your last breath is a choked cry and you fall forward, something shaking your chest and squeezing the life out of you.

And you're dead.

And there's nothing you can do. And it's all his fault. Not your's, but his.

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Author's comments: Let me explain (warning: spoilers for the story talked about). Ed and Al got the PhiloStone but Ed realized that there wasn't enough for the both of them. So, fearing that it won't be enough for Al's body, decided to sacrifice himself (the idiot). But he also believed that if Al does get his body back, he will want to bring Ed's limbs back and do something dangerous. So he got really afraid and decided that if there is enough PhiloStone for Al, then he'll just go ahead and kill himself so that Al doesn't have to worry about limbs (So OOC…I apologize). But it goes all wrong when those two thoughts were found by the Gate so they exchanged the Stone for Al's body, and Ed's mind for his limbs. Whoops.

So, Ed couldn't control his bodily needs nor his love for his brother and so he rapes him (again) and Al…well, he kills him and loses his mind and dies in the asylum.

I guess I kinda got influenced by Heroes (the TV show) since this is literally Al's evil side talking and also...ok, I realize that this One Shot was really confusing and rushed and everything but...be nice ' I'd like to hear your opinions on the whole Soul Mind Body thing : p

I hope you like it o.o


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